i saw a ghost today

Nov 18, '09 8:44 PM for everyone

Walking along the streets you once passed

and where your roots remain

From time to time I bump into shadows

that flicker

that trigger

a hundred memories:

Shared laughter

of silly things

you and I understand;

Shared thoughts

on crazy things

you and I believe in;

Never-ending conversations

we could not get enough of;

repartee unparalleled

before or since.

Walking along the streets I now pass alone

and where I do not have roots

i looked up at the clouds in the heavens

not to wonder why

there is no wind;

neither to ponder why

there are ghosts at noontime.

But to stare at the sun

hoping it would dry up

and mercifully hold back

the tears that came unbidden.

universal truth

Jan 17, '11 3:01 PM for everyone

the wind whipped my face as i stepped out for a walk today. it struck me that i better get used to the cool wind whipping my face since i will be travelling soon to another country where, i am told, weather changes can be extreme. i would love that. i like walking around in long sleeves, cardigans, sweats, windbreakers. in baguio before, I’d wear a trench coat and even  a military jacket (the boyfriend and i had one each).  As I walked, it struck me hard that all my life i had been packing up, unpacking, and living in different places in the philippines. but soon, and i hope VERY SOON, it will be outside the country.

i walked past familiar buildings and on familiar streets.  by this time, i cannot get lost in cebu city anymore. i know the city like the palm of my hand - even the sidestreets in outlying barangays. cab drivers often get surprised when i say: no, we will pass through the other side, manong; there's a small fork there that will get us to the city in shorter time. after more than 3 years - 4 next month - i know cebu city very well.

the cold wind blew and i stopped at an intersection. i thought, i will miss these. i will miss this intersection that i pass everyday.  the city is largely asleep at 2 pm; it was sinulog last night, after all. i will miss the placid, quiet life i had in cebu, especially in the last 2 years. it's great to be walking around where no one truly knows you. all they see, and all they know, is i am a teacher in a prominent university. i am that girl that crosses the main avenue in a dress every thursday and sunday. there is no party i have to attend, socials i have to go to, or people i have to please. well, there are some teachers who force me to be their friend, but  of course, i do not want to. i am so creative in avoiding spending more than 15 minutes with any of them.  I only spend time with one or two.   gee whiz, how can I be their friend?  Can’t they see from our English alone, hahaha, that we have absolutely nothing in common but our pitiful salary level?  I like cebu precisely because no one knows me from adam here.  They all know me in the present – the better for me, really.   i like - i loooove - being largely ignored in this city. and this is something i hope to keep when i transfer residence soon. i hope that in my next job, i will just work, and go home, and do my thing, and i hope, i pray, that no one will bother me except for small chitchats and the occasional dining out.

i pulled my sweatshirt tighter to fight the cold. a bank officer waves at me from her glass office at street level. i remember i haven't updated my account in that bank. hmmm... i go inside the mall and the shoe coloring attendant makes small talk as she opens the plastic bag i brought. "ma'am, we do not have this color, sorry". okay. i go up to the clothes section and the saleswoman says, "hi, ma'am; here, the blouses are on sale." i smile and say, iha, no, i am not buying today.

i walk on, just walking around. someone bumps me - it's the girl from the courier company saying "you haven't sent packages in a while, ma'am". and i think...all these...all these i will have to forget, and create a new routine in another place on earth.

i go up the bridge and walk to the other avenue. it's another thing that i like in my place here in cebu: i can walk to anywhere! it is even better than the banilad area where i first stayed in 2007, when people would say: you live in banilad??? (as if they just discovered  they're talking to somebody rich.) but living along mango avenue is the best. the city is literally at my feet. the downside in my present life story, however,  is my salary in school is just enough for my rent, carinderia meals and the salary of the ironing lady.  and so i have to go. i must go. i wonder how far i'll be from the heart of the city in that place where i will relocate? changes, changes....

i cross to the other side of the avenue and for no reason at all,  remember him. it always happens to me. i am going through the routines of my life, and there he is. he flits in and out of my consciousness, and i wonder, i truly wonder, how long this will last. is it possible for one human being to affect another even if you just talked to each other for 24 hours tops? and why do i feel a stab of pain each time? am i losing my mind?

they say time heals all wounds. they say, if you meet another man, you will forget. but i have met many men - far handsomer, far more successful, and far kinder towards  me. some even offered their forever.  yet i do not remember them at all. so, what is it, then? why this ghost in my mind?

and through all of these questionings all these years, i know…..yes, i know, that as for the feelings for me, i was certain.  of that, i am certain.  i am so certain of it that whoever he marries is irrelevant; that what may be a triumph of that woman can be infantile ranged against the depth of what was for me. but the wind blows from some melting ice caps in another continent. the winds can be cold, and it can whip your face....and there are so many other intangible things that must be factored in about one's decisions and life choices.

this truth will hold true, then and now, anywhere i live in this world. and i must remember this and keep it burning inside me when i board that long-haul flight and hopefully, never come back.

i saw a ghost today

Nov 18, '09 8:44 PM for everyone

Walking along the streets you once passed

and where your roots remain

From time to time I bump into shadows

that flicker

that trigger

a hundred memories:

Shared laughter

of silly things

you and I understand;

Shared thoughts

on crazy things

you and I believe in;

Never-ending conversations

we could not get enough of;

repartee unparalleled

before or since.

Walking along the streets I now pass alone

and where I do not have roots

i looked up at the clouds in the heavens

not to wonder why

there is no wind;

neither to ponder why

there are ghosts at noontime.

But to stare at the sun

hoping it would dry up

and mercifully hold back

the tears that came unbidden.

rain, rain, don't go away

Aug 24, '08 9:46 PM for everyone

after the blistering heat the past month, it feels good to hear raindrops on the roof. instead of crouching on bed with a good book or watching tv like normal people do, i get wide awake when i hear raindrops. i love the rain! i can actually live in london where they say it's always damp. (then i can also wear all those trench coats and scarves!) a friend tells me rains make her gloomy - but to me, it's the opposite. i remember happy times when it rains, and i just love to be alone with my thoughts when it does. when i hear raindrops descending on the roof....one at a time...slowly at first...wow, it's just so good! i looove the pitterpatter slowly gaining speed, and then the swoosh of a real downpour. rain is definitely one of nature's best gifts to mankind. if i were asked to choose a name, i would want to be called "rain".

on a visit to my brother (actually, to my nephew - hehehe) - i heard the slow patter on the roof and told the baby: it's rain! come, let's see! we watched from the window and the baby was delighted. so i brought him out, extended his arms, and made him feel the rain on his hands. he was absolutely rolled over! his glee rings in my ears until now. i pulled his hand back then brought it out again, and iggyboy squealed with delight! mamapep of course was even more delighted. but the ever-spoilsport father was angry, so i promptly reminded him that i had been babysitter of five kids in the past who are now healthy and robust, so i am sure that putting your arms out to feel the rain won't get my nephew to the hospital.

when my nephews were young and there was strong rain, i taught them to flap their hands on their ears and listen to the echo. they of course squealed with delight. i herded them out and we took baths in the rain. we would then all cuddle on my bed, each one's arm wrapped around me as i read them storybooks (which they really believed!). they didn't want to have pinocchio's nose, they were scared of stromboli, and they loved the songs of the dwarves and rumpelstiltskin (which i composed, hahaha). after some more cuddling, i'd tell them how much i love them; we'd kiss each other and swear our undying love for each other; and they'd be off to dreamland.

i think of all these - and more - whenever it rains. my nephews are grown-ups - they have girlfriends! - and playing in the rain with mamapep is no longer enjoyable. i'd gladly do it with the second batch, though. (second batch is the next set of pamangkins below 5 years old). unfortunately, this second batch have a different orientation and rules, and i only hope they will grow up to be as simple and adventurous as the first batch. ahhh...the first batch? the first batch is really tough! i brought them everywhere when they were kids! we once crossed to ilo-ilo, and then manila, on a ship - kidnapped by mamapep. at night, it rained, and the ship swayed, and i literally pinched myself to keep me from sleeping. i had to be awake should anything happen, hahahaha! sleeping soundly like logs, i put on life vests on the kids and prayed to God that we wouldn't have to use them. (their mother was swearing at me after the trips, of course.) once, i brought them to bataan on a trek and at one point made them cross a hanging bridge where only one person could walk at a time. my friends were sooo scared for the kids, hahaha! couldn't blame them: below was a raging river. but the choice was to leave them for 4 hours, or for them to cross it, too! i made them decide, and they said they'd rather cross the swaying bridge. (courage, it is - must be my blood! hahahaha) anyway, the rain started to fall, so i crossed first to show my nephews it could be done, then waited for them (then 8 & 7 years old) at the other end. i was nervous, but actually more thrilled to have that experience with the people i love most on earth! i kept shouting: "don't look down! just look at mamapep...see, i am waiting for you...come on, you're a big boy! you are not scared!" ...and when they did it, my friends collectively heaved a sigh of relief. (one said, don't do this again!, to which i of course couldn't agree more, hehehe.) we were dirty and muddy, but the rain washed them away, and we just had one of the best aunt-nephew adventures of all-time.

rain is calming to the soul; it cleanses the spirit. raindrops never fail to give a sense of cleansing. the dust and dirt are gone, and the water falling from your roof gets cleaner as the rain goes on.

rain makes God's creations even more beautiful. do you notice how literally blooming the flowers are after a downpour? white is whiter; the shades deeper. a tree's trunk gets shiny, and the leaves so verdant! all around you seems literally like a new day after a rain: the grass is greener, the roads cleaner, temperature cooler, and tempers sweeter.

rain starts slow, builds up and pours; and before you know it, the sun is up again. it makes explicit the fact that seasons come and seasons go - and life goes on.

nasa confirms the fires of hell

Aug 30, '09 6:33 PM for everyone

the inquirer magazine today bannered that "in the philippines, the trend of rising temperature, rainfall variability and sea level, associated with climate change, has been observed and has matched global trends....el nido occurrence in the country had raised poverty level to 28% ....the dramatic rise in economic losses and damages caused by disasters especially in rural areas is most prevalent."

this is only one among many, many articles written - and still being written worldwide - about climate change. in fact, the united nations has come up with many, many committees, offices, organizations, etc. to deal with climate change. people all over the world - the highly-literate ones, at least - know that the danger of extreme poverty due to global climate change IS VERY, VERY REAL AND COMING FAST.

in the meantime, the inquirer newspaper reported that space shuttle 'discovery' had lifted off on its third launch the other night, hoping to reach the international space station tomorrow. 7 astronauts were on board - tasked to do what, it was never explained. meantime, india's space agency reported that its satellite which was supposed to be a prelude to putting a marker on the moon, got lost.

it must be noted that the us' NASA and other national space agencies never explain why they are spending billions of dollars for space exploration. NASA, in particular, is very silent on this matter, and the international press doesn't probe what these space travels are for. is it trying to look for an inhabitable area in another planet? if it does, then WHY? why does NASA go to mars, venus and even checks out jupiter and saturn? is it trying to find aliens? and if the astronauts do find aliens, what will it do with them? is it simply testing its intellectual powers in physics? indeed, people never bothered to analyze why the u.s government does all these things. and if other countries are following suit, they must have A REALLY BIG REASON for wanting to conquer space.

the futility of these actions by the human race is very sad and pitiful. sad, because the billions of dollars spent on organizations for international meetings and info campaigns on climate change could have been better used to feed the billions of the hungry and poor on earth. pitiful, because the billions of dollars that the space agencies spend on space exploration will result to NOTHING except pictures of other planets and the vast universe. again, billions spent on these should instead be used to feed the poor of the world. or write off the debts of  third world countries.

mankind, more than 2 thousand years after the death of the Lord Jesus Christ, still refuses to listen to Him, and still refuses to listen to God Himself. "if you knew God, you would listen to me, for i came from Him", said Jesus Christ. the Lord God Himself had spoken of these disasters and useless space explorations loooooong ago - and mankind has no reason not to know, because these are all written in the bible.

in the four gospels, Christ warned the apostles of precisely these disasters and said that when these things start to happen, it is ONLY THE BEGINNING of hardship for mankind. in the old testament, God Almighty Himself said that people will want to prove their intellect and might beyond what He allowed them to do - which are simply to follow His 10 commandments and listen to His servant who will come from the line of king david. further, God warned that He will destroy these "foolish men" beyond the worst punishment they can ever imagine. in the new testament, this was confirmed by apostle peter (read peter's epistles) by saying that "this world we now know is RESERVED FOR FIRE, ALL THE HEAVENS AND ALL THE EARTH". and Jesus Christ said that when everything will burn, He will come back and save only those whom God has chosen.

there is never contradiction between outstanding science and the words of God. science only proves what God said a long, long time ago. we will all rise from death, and so the fire will hurt everybody, except those whom God has chosen for Christ to save.

all who has been given the grace of God has a duty to inform the world about these truths that no less than NASA and all space agencies know. THEY KNOW THAT THIS WORLD IS GOING  TO BURN. and they know it is going to happen sooner than soon, hence their panic to find an inhabitable area outside planet earth. when i think of my lola, my mom, nephews and niece, brothers and sisters, and friends who will be burned up RIGHT HERE ON EARTH, i cry. you see, the bible guarantees that the fire will never stop - it will hurt them forever. and i, i wouldn't be able to do anything to help them when the time comes.

the thing for human beings to do is ensure they will be among those to be saved by Jesus Christ; and tell the world to believe the words of God - as all the space agencies do - that this world is ending, and that ending will come SOONER THAN MANKIND THINKS.

"Father, sanctify them by the truth. Your word is truth".

- Jesus Christ, praying to God before His arrest by the roman authorities

be sane thru Zen

May 21, '08 4:05 PM for everyone

the first time i went to japan, i was all of 13 years old. my host family would bring me to shinto temples where we drank from a well (to erase one's sins) and wrote down wishes on paper which are then tied to a tree (for the shinto god to read in his spare time, i guess). the strangest thing is, the japanese do not go inside their temples which are huge. the well is at the entrance, and the trees to tie your prayers on are of course in the garden. i asked my otosan (not helper, but "father" in nippongo) if i could go inside the temple, but he said only monks are allowed there. luckily, he realized i was actually a tourist euphemistically called "exchange student", so one day they brought me inside.  there, i saw monks praying and chanting. after that single time, it was back to the wells and the gardens only.

though shinto and zen are two different things, they actually are grounded on the same basic principles. and that is: EVERYTHING IS NOTHING. i remember this now because i just finished a book by stanley bing, an idol of mine since forever. you must have heard of him; he was rumored to have impregnated elizabeth hurley in the past, a charge he fought out in court and won.  the stanley bing i had always admired writes for fortune - actually, i read the magazine only for his column. the humor of this guy is simply wow!  anyway, i chanced upon his book about handling elephants and it kept me in stitches for a week. the book is about dealing with your horrible boss (the elephant) the Zen way.

i'll paraphrase here some of his witticisms:

• remember that in the order of the cosmic forces, you are nothing. the elephant is everything.
• because you are nothing, everything is nothing. so nothing will affect, upset or bother you, not even when the elephant wishes you were dead and makes this plain to your face. you are Zen.
• if the elephant gives you a raise, greet him crisply in the elevator. if he gives you stock options, give him your firstborn child.
• Zen = duty. doing your job is a duty. when you do your job, you are fulfilling your duty in the universe. this doesn't mean you want to please the elephant, or you want to be appreciated, or you want to be promoted, or you want a raise, or anything at all. wanting is earthly; Zen allows no desire.
• to be sane, you must have no desire. desire is un-Zenlike. in other words, you simply must not care about the company, the office, your job. but of course, no one in the office must know this. this is Zen.
• elephants are not humans - see, they are elephants! so do not expect kindness, honesty, appreciation and all other human emotions from them. all they care about is the profit they are going to make. even if they treat you like a friend or an important part of their business, they really do not care whether you drop dead tomorrow. sure, they will express regret, but they will keep earning millions without you, just the same.
• to elephants, you are nothing. this is Zen.
• leverage comes from the word "lever". for it to work, you must use a fulcrum: the object that delivers the force to the lever. in dealing with the elephant, you must use the lever and fulcrum, which means, you must leverage the elephant.

how does one leverage the elephant? THIS IS THE CRUX OF THE BOOK AND YOU MUST BUY AND READ IT TO KNOW.

and this is my favorite of all: to be content with nothing is Zen, but all else being equal among those who meditate the cosmos, why not eat steak?

in the meantime, remember you are nothing. 

HAPPY READING TO ALL!

bopeep was a lost sheep

Apr 12, '09 7:35 PM for everyone

I came to cebu not to have easy access to dive spots but to fulfill a promise to God. I was thinking this as my friend james and I sat on a banca off balicasag island (bohol) summer of 2004. an avid diver, he was saying I was right to choose being based in cebu since aside from bohol, it is also near apo island off dumaguete. we should go there next, he said. I kept quiet, sure that he would freak out if I said what was on my mind.

You see, the year before, I promised God tearfully that I would leave my 5-year boyfriend and pursue my being an iglesia ni cristo if He made my crippled nephew walk again. A very brave deal I struck, and God responded swiftly. In no time, my nephew was walking about……and I had to honor my word. This, I could only do if I went somewhere far from metro manila where I could find a job. Cebu was it.

My plan seemed simple: first, find a job; then, finish my loooong-pending bible study, pass the exams, and get baptized. Beyond that….it was blank. I had no plan beyond that, really.  The goals seemed forbidding enough.

How to achieve those goals in a place I didn’t know, I truly had no idea. That summer was spent going around in taxis holding a map, and so found out I was NOT in cebu city to begin with (I was in mandaue city instead). The only person I knew in the city was another college friend, and the only people I met were his friends.  Anyway, I did find a job, and should’ve immediately moved on to my baptism. But….i met someone who rocked my world, and decided to put on hold my promise to God.

Can we, mere mortals, put on hold our promise to God? Of course not! but I did and this only shows how arrogant I was. Discovering cebu for the first time, I drank and attended fiestas everywhere, hung out with fun-loving people, dirty-danced, went to videoke bars. It did not help that the people I met knew the best restos and bars in cebu. So there I was, out everywhere, everynight. 

yet God continued to bless me. the following summer, I had an even better job, complete with subsidized dwelling, blackberry, high pay.. Weekends were spent in bohol as a volunteer for a canadian government-funded project. I must have stayed in all the best hotels there that summer. Life was okay. Yet, alone in my room, I felt really guilty. To ease the guilt (see how self-serving I was?), I squeezed in bible studies into my hectic schedule and managed to get baptized. My plan, I thought, was done.

But back to my level of income before cebu, I went shopping every week and bought stuff I did not need. I was also meeting other people at this time, and so was often out dining and drinking. In addition, I kept the cool guy on speed dial, and my ex was asking for a reconciliation. (ang haba ng hair ko) I hung out with gays who daily mouthed vulgar words. plus, because I was in the corporate workforce, it was inevitable that some girl friends carried on affairs or were living in. This went on for almost a year, until perhaps God got very tired of my antics and slapped me bigtime: my nephew lost again his capacity to walk. Worse, he also lost his capacity to speak.

To say that I was scared out of my wits was an understatement. I knew…I simply knew that it was my punishment. Somehow, I found the courage to leave the two guys for good and the crowd I should not be with. How was I able to do this? Simple: I left. I decided to be where my nephew was and ask God for forgiveness. Back in manila, my nephew had been reduced to a mass of bones, and 7 specialists declared he would either die or never recover. It was then that I said: throw me anything, Lord, and I’ll accept it. But if You forgive me, please show my family that your church, which it disdains, is the true one.

The Lord took His time responding but I did not waver. It reached a point when I said, ok, You may take my nephew already; it's my punishment; i accept. It took all of 9 months in confinement before my nephew spoke and stood up again. the doctors were amazed. Immediately, I promised the Lord I will be a very, very good girl and would let His light shine upon my life. As if on cue, a conglomerate in Cebu hired and brought me back. In gratitude, I spent that summer writing blogs on biblical truths and the oneness of God (God is not Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ is not God). 

That’s as far as I went, though. Again, somewhere along the way, I lost steam. It was hard – it still is – to hold on to your faith when everyone else mouths "free will". besides, the fun is with those not understanding the bible. i was weak to stand up for my faith, especially when most people, upon learning I am an iglesia ni cristo, immediately exhibit glazed eyes. And as if God was being sarcastic, the HR top guns asked why I could not facilitate a seminar for frontliners when I was in fact an HR consultant. (do you also meet people who do not know there is a huge difference between a consultant and a facilitator?) I opted to resign at once.

I was back to needing a job, but at least that’s the only thing missing. I am now a practising iglesia ni cristo and I would not waver. Or so I thought. I then accepted the job of managing my friend’s resto, a job he had been offering since 2004. I was paid well, but it was the most stressful job I ever had. it turned out the owner is not my friend but his wife - and the woman has hallucination, paranoia or plain dementia.  Whatever it was, it depressed me as much as it depressed my friend. to top it off, the owner’s praning behavior resulted to resignations so much so that all I did was hire replacements. I soon realized that I was becoming, like my friend, a drunkard.

 

In short, I was a lost sheep once more and my betrayal of the Lord was complete.

Yet God remained merciful despite my filth. He gave me another chance. So now I work in a review center owned by another friend who, by the way, is also often depressed and I hope it isn’t another case of wifely dementia. on the side, I take on consulting jobs, usually referred by manila friends, that is why I have been flying in and out these days. As for relationships, I have closed my mind on these handsome men. They are now my donations to the aspirational female population.   my spare time is spent now  hanging out with churchmates – none of whom gives a damn about dive spots, career, wealth, prestige, sex, affairs, or anything considered common in this world.  :)  It IS a peaceful life. I grant that I should have a more stable source of income - and there was in fact an offer from u.p tacloban.  problem was, i couldn't go there on the schedule they want. but that’s okay. God immediately replaced it with another job offer.

It took me 5 summers to understand the blank in my mind after landing a job and getting baptized. for someone supposedly with high IQ, i sure am a very slow learner (there goes my arrogance). Finding a job, it turns out, is not the major problem (this is my 15^th, after all). you can get a job if you can let go of the perks you are used to. Now I know that undergoing bible lessons is not the only goal – you can have it for 10 years, as i did, but if you do not believe the words of God, then it is nothing. Getting baptized as an iglesia ni cristo can be attained simply by treating it as another project to be completed in 6 months – but the real test of faith comes after.  all these i learned the hard, loooong way.

If my family and friends are freaking out with me now, so be it. The important thing is this: Bopeep was a lost sheep -  but she has been found.

gone to iligan

Nov 24, '08 9:26 AM for everyone

we people of the cities do not feel the impact of the m.i.l.f atrocities even if we read about them in the newspapers or see them on t.v. but now that i'm here in lanao del norte, i saw the burnt houses, the coastline where townsfolk ran for transport to another city at the height of the burning, the seriousness of christians to arm themselves, the fear of christians in dealing with muslims, etc. everyday, we have to pass the highway where every kilometer or so, there is a checkpoint. i was told that in times of conflict, these are manned not by our own army or police, but the m.i.l.f itself! civilians have learned to differentiate only by the logo and flag posted on each stop. can you imagine a part of our country that is sometimes controlled by the muslim army?!

when i was told that i would facilitate a seminar with the objective of drafting a peace curriculum, my first reaction was: i'm not an educator! still, my friend (ging) was insistent to share our combined knowhow to her home province of....tararan..... lanao del norte. it seemed so far-off and only part of our social studies classes in school! it did not help that i met her in the cosmopolitan city of cebu, and i couldn't imagine her being a native of such an exotic-sounding place.  yet here we are, she and i, helped by another friend from the same province (arlene) who had the luck (and fortune) to be educated also in cebu.  

the three of us embarked on a tedious project with the iligan diocese (can you imagine me discussing with priests and the bishop? hahaha).  We’d travel early everyday from iligan to the heartland of lanao del norte. it was, to say the least, a very thrilling experience but for the tiring travel time.  i was regaled by stories about how the people of kauswagan ran to the seashore and asked fishermen to transport them to ozamis as muslim fighters burned their town. they could not use the national highway because 300 muslim soldiers were controlling it!

when we read about this in the papers, we do not feel - indeed, we cannot imagine - the degree of hardship our christian brothers experience each time the m.i.l.f attacks. i was also told of how the people of the capital city, iligan, literally armed themselves - each man and woman - to defend their homes from an announced muslim siege. all the guns of their fathers were cleaned and readied; the poor readied their bolos; and all civic groups went out to the streets at 9pm, ready to fight. it is no  exaggeration when we read in the papers that  christians in the city (who have the means) are willing to buy all the arms/guns they can to protect themselves. it gives you the creeps to think that my friends themselves, who are quite sheltered, are willing to fight in the event of a siege. it is like the book 'gone with the wind' where planters themselves were willing to fight during the american civil war. wow!  and to think this is the year 2008 - and will be 2009 soon!

i feel blessed to be part of this activity - to guide the catholic leadership on how to source funds for such activities; to lay the groundwork for a peace curriculum in high schools of lanao del norte. this is indeed very special particularly because  i am doing this for the catholics. (imagine an iglesia ni cristo teaching the bishops and priests! my life is strange, indeed.) since the major problem of the diocese here is where to source funds, you can imagine my pride when i went to the INC temple here and saw that the entire compound is being renovated. just goes to show we don’t have funds problems at all.  in any case, the patience of the priests and the bishop in convincing the christians to be forgiving, is to be commended. if your sister is raped, your house burned without reason, your father shot dead just because the government did not sign the bangsamoro contract - how can you forgive? if you are a fisherman, what do you know about the kuala lumpur signing?  the major issue here, really is: what happens to the christians who are the titleholders of these vast lands? do we drive them away for peace to reign? what happens to the rest of the country? will we give them away?

anyway, let me share with you the uniqueness of iligan.  here, there are two kinds of public cars: p.u and taxi. they look the same, but if there is aircon, it's called a taxi; when no aircon, it's called a p.u! have travelled far and wide to major cities and towns of the country and i can say this is the first time i encountered this distinction. on food, since there is a mixture of muslim and christians, you can see liempo restaurants (offering tender pork) side by side with halal establisments. :) it is also strange to be walking around and seeing women with covered heads - i swear, it makes you wonder if you are still in the philippines. the bishop told me that it is even more muslim in marawi, cotabato and sulu.  i wanted to have pictures taken with these women but ging warned they might get offended to be taken as a tourist attraction. Really?  How come in baguio, the igorots in g-strings even offer themselves for 50p per shot? oh, well.  by the way, there are  also many mosques - it can get unsettling seeing such structures all over. i imagine i'm in my dream destination of istanbul - this must be how it feels there.  i also wanted a picture taken with the mosque as background, but arlene said, wagna, oi!  sigh.  needless to say, while they grew up here, they are not comfortable with muslim stuff.

i decide to stay one more day so that i can see the famous maria cristina falls and have time to buy sukang pinakurat, for which iligan is known. (sorry to inform you all that the known chedeng peanuts of iligan is IMPORTED from indonesia!).   i buy an abaya, the better to feel the mindanao spirit!  but just when I wait for her to pick me up, two muslim guys get off their s.u.v and strike a conversation with me. (you can tell only from their dialect; otherwise they look very normal.) exchange of pleasantries - then one says: "i think you are my destiny". i laugh, but look around for comfort. to my alarm, the security guards disappear; the christians pretend they do not see us. i excuse myself and the man says: "wag ka matakot; i am a government officer". i use the best p.r  i could muster and text my friends. ging does not answer, while arlene replies (all caps): GET OUT OF THERE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. DON'T TALK TO THEM.

back with my friends, i found out ging had to call a general (kaya pala hindi sumasagot); arlene had to drag her relative to drive for her and fetch me very, very quickly. i say, OA naman kayo! but they were very serious: they would have kidnapped you! i laugh, but my friends are upset. they say, "ah...it doesn't matter if they went to oxford or mayors! they are still muslims; kidnapping to them is a business".

in the end, all i could say was: here we are conducting a seminar about christian-muslim peace, yet christians tell me not to talk to muslims!

so today we are off to the highway leading to marawi, at some point on which i will be able to see a destination i used to only read about: maria cristina falls! and arlene promised she'll show me lake lanao, too. truly, there is so very much to see, to learn about our beautiful country. after this trip, the only areas left for me to see in the country are batanes, bicol, zamboanga and sulu. and by God's grace, i will see them all before i hit europe. :)

inshallah! salamalaikum!