be sane thru Zen

May 21, '08 4:05 PM for everyone

the first time i went to japan, i was all of 13 years old. my host family would bring me to shinto temples where we drank from a well (to erase one's sins) and wrote down wishes on paper which are then tied to a tree (for the shinto god to read in his spare time, i guess). the strangest thing is, the japanese do not go inside their temples which are huge. the well is at the entrance, and the trees to tie your prayers on are of course in the garden. i asked my otosan (not helper, but "father" in nippongo) if i could go inside the temple, but he said only monks are allowed there. luckily, he realized i was actually a tourist euphemistically called "exchange student", so one day they brought me inside.  there, i saw monks praying and chanting. after that single time, it was back to the wells and the gardens only.

though shinto and zen are two different things, they actually are grounded on the same basic principles. and that is: EVERYTHING IS NOTHING. i remember this now because i just finished a book by stanley bing, an idol of mine since forever. you must have heard of him; he was rumored to have impregnated elizabeth hurley in the past, a charge he fought out in court and won.  the stanley bing i had always admired writes for fortune - actually, i read the magazine only for his column. the humor of this guy is simply wow!  anyway, i chanced upon his book about handling elephants and it kept me in stitches for a week. the book is about dealing with your horrible boss (the elephant) the Zen way.

i'll paraphrase here some of his witticisms:

• remember that in the order of the cosmic forces, you are nothing. the elephant is everything.
• because you are nothing, everything is nothing. so nothing will affect, upset or bother you, not even when the elephant wishes you were dead and makes this plain to your face. you are Zen.
• if the elephant gives you a raise, greet him crisply in the elevator. if he gives you stock options, give him your firstborn child.
• Zen = duty. doing your job is a duty. when you do your job, you are fulfilling your duty in the universe. this doesn't mean you want to please the elephant, or you want to be appreciated, or you want to be promoted, or you want a raise, or anything at all. wanting is earthly; Zen allows no desire.
• to be sane, you must have no desire. desire is un-Zenlike. in other words, you simply must not care about the company, the office, your job. but of course, no one in the office must know this. this is Zen.
• elephants are not humans - see, they are elephants! so do not expect kindness, honesty, appreciation and all other human emotions from them. all they care about is the profit they are going to make. even if they treat you like a friend or an important part of their business, they really do not care whether you drop dead tomorrow. sure, they will express regret, but they will keep earning millions without you, just the same.
• to elephants, you are nothing. this is Zen.
• leverage comes from the word "lever". for it to work, you must use a fulcrum: the object that delivers the force to the lever. in dealing with the elephant, you must use the lever and fulcrum, which means, you must leverage the elephant.

how does one leverage the elephant? THIS IS THE CRUX OF THE BOOK AND YOU MUST BUY AND READ IT TO KNOW.

and this is my favorite of all: to be content with nothing is Zen, but all else being equal among those who meditate the cosmos, why not eat steak?

in the meantime, remember you are nothing. 

HAPPY READING TO ALL!