prisonbreak

Sep 21, '08 7:30 PM for everyone

the past 2 weeks, i made major decisions in my life. 

first off, i decided to end the hell of dealing with insanity - and i don't mean this figuratively. if you are looking for chicken bones in the trashcan, calls plastic fruits christmas ornament, spreads out frying pans looking for holes in each, calling a button 1 peso and insisting it be sealed in an envelope because the driver will steal it, wondering why the water district office is closed at midnight, breaks into dancing with plastic boxes in hand and without music at that - among many, many insane moments - and thinking of evil all the time while smiling ever so sweetly - so much so that the doctor prescribed anti-depressants to your husband - then it's already a pathological case. unfortunately, i am a consultant, not a psychiatrist. in short, i quit the job. true, i was paid well. but again, i am a management practicioner, not a psychiatrist. besides, if the doctors were to prescribe me anti-depressants like the husband, i wouldn't be able to afford them. so that is how i am.

second, i got my own place in the heart of the city. so now i no longer have a maid to do my laundry, but that's fine.

third, i did away with 1/4 of my possessions to charity. (since the employees i worked with for a year are paid so low, i consider it charity.)

i am back to my sanity, praise God! true, i lost the comforts, but i regained my life! it may be poor, but a sane life all around. which now, i know, is real wealth on this planet!!!!! and now i can laugh at the whole experience, suspend pity for the man who married delilah, and be grateful to God i am whole. the other news is, i went out on a date with someone about 50 years old "and annulled" (he kept repeating). he is an accomplished man and definitely my type (sosyal na bugoy is the term). and then...and then...he turns out to be the father of a 23-year-old guy i dated way back in 2005! so.... i am moving up the world: i now date the financiers, HAHAHAHAHA!

now if the story of my life isn't done yet, i shudder to think what's next. but i admit, i am also excited to find out. as i go jobhunting this week, i ask myself: why am i troubling myself? and the answer is this: i am too young to lead a sedentary life; i can still earn money; i want to take long walks with my dog; i don't want to miss the trips to her vet; i want those shoes on sale in robinsons; i want to buy a cool sound system; i want to buy a light laptop; i want to finish that ph.d started way back in 2003; i haven't visited all the islands of the visayas; i haven't explored mindanao; there are a couple of books i still have to get at powerbooks; and gosh, i must have my brewed coffee. for all these, i still have to work and earn. how do i tell these to the interviewers? this is the reason why i want to stay in cebu. it is a city but small enough to know almost everyone. it is cosmopolitan, but if you have no money, there's always the puso and the siomai and the ngohiong to eat. i haven't tried the ngohiong, though (a shame, a shame). i must stay in cebu because the simple but not clerical jobs are here; the pace is slow but modern; the 40th anniversary of the temple here coincides with my birthday; the food is great; the people are generally smart (such premium on education here!) and i can walk around in shorts and slippers along the major thoroughfares that are still lined with trees! also, while i have sort of conquered cebu, it still is the right launching pad for my exploration of the visayas and mindanao, which is next on my life's agenda. 

now if only i win the lotto, i wouldn't even bother working and earning but just plunge head-on to exploring and taking in the senses of the country and hopefully, the world. maybe one day i will be in that creative writing workshop in dumaguete, after all. till the next chapter opens....and please, Lord, let me deal with mentally healthy people from now on. i promise to be a very, very good person. just please do not ever, ever let me deal with missing plastic rings worth 50p in garbage cans again. or table-size calculators used in 1971 (which i was afraid would turn to transformers when punched). above all, do not ever let me face a pathological liar ever again. to deny bad things and pass them on to someone else, with a straight face and shy smile. i shudder to think of it, Lord. as You know, i am only working to earn a decent living. i am not a psychiatrist, Lord. lead me not to the depths of other people's lunacy in the next chapter of my life. and thank You i am now walking in the land of the sane. amen.